Less change, more exploration in 2025
Why you must resist the urge to create a totally "new you" in the year ahead.
I love jacuzzis, but only when the jets are off.
I love the beach, but can’t stand getting sun.
I’m not a good reader, but love to write. When I do, I often need a coffee, even if it’s not an ideal time of day to have one (get out of here with your decaf recommendations…). And I always want to see a dessert menu.
Life is full of these seemingly small, peculiar paradoxes and quirks. And perhaps our therapists would suggest it wise to investigate them further so we can make sense of them, but with rare exception, I don’t think it’s worth it. The nuances of our personalities are what make us who we are. They add texture to our existence and inform the way we live and work. Why does it matter?
We live in an era that demands efficiency and performance, at all costs. Artificial intelligence is paving the way for a race to the middle, with the ability to generate mediocre but passable creative work at the click of a single button. And a chorus of “biohacking” experts flood our feeds with routines like 4am cold plunges and two-a-day gym sessions and impossible-to-maintain diets, to eek out a fractional improvement in expected health outcomes. But, at what price?
As Anthony Bourdain once said, “your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
This week, you’re likely reflecting on the year that was and making subtle or not-so-subtle promises to yourself about what you’ll do differently in the year ahead. And that’s ok, I’m doing it too. Trying to incrementally improve on ourselves should be a core element of personal growth. But this is your reminder that what you’re doing now is probably a lot more interesting and impressive than you’re willing to admit.
Magazines and advertisements used to depict unrealistic, aspirational lives and beauty standards that would pour cold water on self-image. And now social media has taken that practice into the stratosphere, blanketing us with constant images of achievement, growth, and the obviously untrue but persistent idea that everyone has life figured out… but me.
The irony is that your network is probably saying the same thing about you. When I was in college, I had a mentor and professor who was a psychologist. He told me the true story of a couple of students that he had worked with some years prior. They were roommates, and through pure coincidence they both independently and anonymously sought out his advice. The gist went like this: the first student would come in and talk about how lost they were, if only they could have their path figured out as well as their roommate did, they’d be much happier and more fulfilled. Then the second roommate would come in and say the exact same thing. He couldn’t break patient confidentiality so had to wait for the two of them to realize it together in one of those late night, staring-at-the-ceiling life chats that happen with young roommates.
You are doing better than you give yourself credit for. I promise you. So, in 2025, you do not need to radically change your life or your career, unless something is calling you. Commit, instead, to finding ways to be the best version of who you already are. Lean into your quirks and your idiosyncrasies, they are the parts of us that the robots cannot accurately mimic (yet, anyway!).
Steve Martin said some of the best advice he received in his career was “you’ll use everything you’ve ever learned.” And it is true, the experiences we’ve had, the relationships we’ve built, and the seemingly random bits of knowledge from our past find ways to become valuable when we least expect it.
In 2025, instead of changing yourself, I’m wishing for you to find yourself. You’re doing better than you think, and you’ve got so much left to explore.
Happy new year, friends. Wishing you a creative year ahead!
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.